>The Ballad of Happy "The Fritter" Henley


Happy Henley
Age: 39 B/T: S/L
Born: San Diego, CA
Position(s): 1B/DH
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

Happy “The Fritter” Henley, NABCL MVP, teammate, leader, gourmand — in memorium

Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Fritter
Hung up his spikes when his career went in the shi**er
Left San Diego when he was young and fat
Off to parts unknown where he swung a mighty bat
(Helena, that is, Montana, M-T)

Well, in season one, Hap’s the best who ever played
So Combalt said, hey, Hap, we’re gonna trade
Said Ottawa is the place you gonna be
Home of Tim Hortons donuts and their apple pastry
(Fritters that is, sugar glazed, flaky goodness)

In North O-Town, Hap became a major dude
Won the MVP and led the league in Eating Food
Could have spent the off season training really hard
But instead he ate his weight in flour, sweets and lard
(Happy he was, sugar rush, Diabetes)

When it came time to contract, bullet put away his pen
Said, we don’t need chubbos, we need a team of manly men,
Sorry, there, fat boy, but you’re looking kinda shi**y,
So why don’t you take your act and sign with Kansas City?
(KC, that is, land of pork, Bar B Q)

So that’s how Henley became the man called Fritter
Used to hit all pitches, slider, cutter, and the splitter
The problem wasn’t steroids, HGH or even Clear
Poor Henley went through donuts the way Jose goes through beer
(Cases, that is, Mega Amounts, Mass Quantities)

So long, Fritter. You’ll be missed.
taken from the forum post “The Ballad of Happy The Fritter Henley” by jose_can_u_c


About Knucklebones Radio

Alternative News, History, Music, & Interviews on podcast. Every now and then I blog too. Conspiracy and Theories. Interviews about the topics with those that have material concerning it. Independent Artists and Politics.
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